25 Lessons from 2023
I think it’s safe to say that the year 2023 was a major turning point chapter in my life. I shed away all fear of criticism, I took the ultimate dive into living life to the fullest and traveling solo by moving to Hawai’i all alone to an island I’ve never been to before, without hardly knowing a soul, and I accepted fully that my passions lie in writing and creating, therefore making the irrevocable decision to chase a lifetime of doing only the things I love to do, with hopes of someday making a living off of it. But of course, with so many drastic changes come many lessons and many realizations about the world we live in and the people around you. Here are twenty-five lessons I took from this tumultuous year:
1. Traveling solo is the best educational system you can put in place for yourself to learn about who you are and to see and understand how other people live, at a rate which can’t be done staying in one corner of the world.
There is only so much a person can learn of the world around them through reading, watching documentaries, or listening to word-of-mouth. There is no greater education than that of experience, and to experience the world we live in is a gift. Unfortunately, there is also only so much you can learn of yourself until you find yourself in a foreign place, with nobody to save you, nobody to guide you, nobody to help you if things take a turn for the worse. You become resilient, you learn how to navigate new places on your own, you become accustomed to adapting to change quickly and willingly.
2. LESS IS SO MUCH MORE.
I cannot stress enough what a life-changing concept minimalism has been for me. I used to want so many material possessions that it would make me crazy. I am not ashamed of this and I will not lie about it. There was a point in time where I was very materialistic. I wanted a big showy house, nice cars, lots of clothes, shoes and jewelry, and I definitely wanted millions in my bank account. It got to the point where it all became an obsession to accumulate as much as I could. I did very well for myself for a time feeding this hunger, but none of it ever made me happy. It wasn’t until I learned how to let go of possessions and seriously downsize that suddenly all of these doors began to open that allowed me to follow the path I was truly meant to take in this life.
3. The most difficult part of chasing your dreams and aspirations is making the decision to do it.
I found myself desperate to escape reality. I felt myself falling down the hole of mundane existence with every passing year as I continued to tell myself that I will do the things I always aspired to do “someday.” It was never time that I was actually worried about, it was all the excuses I kept piling up as to why I had to wait to pursue anything. I wasn’t even sure what I was actually waiting for. Once I put my foot down and began to experiment by slowly inching into my dreams, I realized the hardest part was not what I made excuses for, it was just the getting started part.
4. Sacrifices are mandatory in the pursuit of greater picture.
This one sounds obvious and cliché, but you never realize just how much you truly have to sacrifice to reach an ultimate goal until you’re in the process of rearranging your entire life to match your vision. Some things are difficult to let go of, especially once you’re stepping out of your comfort zone to do so, but it is all part of the major development in your life.
5. Taking advice from people who don’t live the life you envision for yourself is as ridiculous as taking their criticism seriously.
Imagine someone who hates traveling telling you (who aspires to travel full-time) that you shouldn’t do it because it’s expensive and a waste of time. Now imagine that you do it anyway, love it completely, and that person that advised against it before says you’re wasting your time and money. You wouldn’t take their advice because you know they aren’t worth listening to, so why would you pay any mind to what they have to say once you’ve already proven them wrong? These people exist and they are everywhere, learn to quiet them out of your life.
6. Money is not worth the dedication of the majority of your time. Money is easy to get, and very frequently too, but time is fleeting. Every day you get to make a choice of which is more important, choose wisely.
Wealth and happiness do not always go hand in hand. You can make an outstanding earning and be deeply unhappy, just as you can be making only enough to get by and be perfectly content with your life. I have personally experienced both lifestyles. One of the most important things you can learn as a growing adult is how to separate money from joy. Once you can do that, it becomes easy to pursue a life of happiness while simultaneously strategizing a wealth building plan. Money is not eternal fulfillment, it is only a tool we give power to.
7. Solitude can be more precious than gold, but must be navigated with caution.
It’s incredible what you can learn about yourself being alone, especially while venturing out into the world. You may even become extremely comfortable and possibly even prefer to be alone, however this is a lifestyle that needs to be approached carefully. On the one hand, you may become so content with solitude that keeping old relationships and forming new relationships can be difficult, and on the other hand you could isolate yourself enough that loneliness turns into misery.
8. Approval and validation from others are as worthless as a single penny. Nobody thinks about you as often as you think they do.
The problem with today’s society is that we are consumed by social media. The need to prove yourself or show off as much as possible takes away from the point in doing anything in the first place a lot of the time. The sad part is that after that swipe down, most people will not think again about what you announced. People aren’t sitting around wondering what you’re up to, what your past is like, what your plans for the future are, or random trivia about you in general. Most people are caught up in their own lives, they aren’t focusing energy on your accomplishments, and you shouldn’t focus energy on seeking external validation from them. This is difficult because it’s human nature to want to be included and accepted, so it’s just a creeping feeling you will have to acknowledge and avoid giving too much of yourself to. I know I certainly did.
9. The riskier and scarier the leap is, the greater and sweeter the reward will be. Let things get scary.
LET THINGS GET SCARY!! Get frightened of what might happen! Get uncomfortable in the moment! Learn how to use fear for changes in your thought process and plans, and never miss a single minute of being alive. They say we only get this one life, LIVE IT. I was so afraid up until the point I landed on the island of O’ahu, and then after I picked up my new (new-to-me) car, I was downright terrified. The fear did not even begin to pass until I got through my first eighteen hours. And it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life!
10. The only thing controlling your life is you. You’re driving, the car won’t do anything you don’t tell it to. Habits are based on psychology and biology and can be learned, relearned, and unlearned.
It didn’t take until 2023 to know that I am in complete control of my life, but it did take until 2023 for it to be proven to me beyond the shadow of a doubt. Nobody is coming to save you, nobody is going to lay out a carpet for you to walk on to reach your vision, only you can do these things for yourself. You have to take matters into your own hands to shape your own life into what you imagine an ideal life for yourself looks like. And truly, it all comes down to your daily habits, no matter how seemingly insignificant. I learned this after reading Atomic Habits by James Clear just before the end of the year. I had wanted to get around to it for the past year and a half and I finally did, and it truly was a wonderful way to end one year and leap into the next.
11. People want you to do well, but they don’t want you doing better than them. Sometimes those checking in aren’t doing so to make sure you’re good, they’re seeing if you’re failing yet. If they check in at all. Be careful what you say.
This isn’t a very nice recognition of others, but it is the truth in my experiences. It’s important to be cautious when speaking to other people about how things are going in your life, especially when you’ve made a major change or taken an unthinkable risk like I did. I knew some people were only checking in to see if I was going to make it. The sad part is a lot of people never even bothered checking in at all. I can’t imagine it has anything to do with me, but I know they know they haven’t, and it is a blessing, because now I know who is really in my corner and who is just here to watch, therefore who to be careful around.
12. There is no such thing as too much time.
There really isn’t.
13. Gratitude is the backbone of realizing genuine happiness.
It is the vessel that transports you into the journey of genuine happiness. Once you appreciate everything you have, everything you gain is a gift of abundance, and everything you lose is a necessary experience in your personal growth. If you place gratitude as the priority for the start of your day, it will pave the path for a good day almost every day. And those days will compound into years. And before you know it, you’ll become one of the most jubilant and fulfilled people in the world. And it will have almost nothing to do with wealth. It wasn’t until I started waking up early and taking time for myself before the world expected anything of me that I became capable of viewing things through a brighter lens. It is so important to start your day with intention, and to think of the things you’re grateful for that day. It is a life-changing tactic to sit and ponder about what you’re lucky to have on a regular basis.
14. It’s true what they say, everywhere you go you take yourself. Become your own best friend before venturing out into the world.
This lesson hit me hard. I struggled for awhile about some deeply personal issues that I brought with me, as well as some I did not realize I had until I leaped into this journey. I’m glad I already am my own best friend, I’m glad I can be kind and patient with myself. It takes cold honesty and open acknowledgement to understand things about yourself that are not glamorous, and even more so to face them and fix them, especially all on your own.
15. Having a car is nice, but not having a car opens opportunity for resourcefulness, and it’s a great way to meet new people.
I sold my Toyota RAV4 as soon as I could to save money for the big move. I was without a vehicle for four months, which is the longest I have ever gone without one since I left my parents’ home. This is a blessing, I know. It was difficult here and there, and it did get pricey finding rides, and I borrowed Adam’s car when I could, but it made me more humble, it gave me the reason to study the maps a bit better, and I’ve had so many great conversations with lots of strangers. That was something that prepared me for the big trip.
16. Alcohol is to dreams as comfort is to progress; the ultimate enemy.
I could write a book about this one. I do not care what anybody says, nobody can chase their dreams and reach their full potential if they are coming home and cracking open a few cold ones every day after work.
17. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, you and you alone know what’s best for you.
Yes, I said it. I said it because I know it. Sometimes the grass looks greener because it actually is. Sometimes you do need change in your life. Change is good, and it’s inevitable anyway. So screw what everyone else says, move out of that small town, move INTO that small town, divorce out of your miserable marriage, marry the love of your life, have children, don’t have children, sell your house and buy a van to live in, or trade in your van and settle down for a while. Keep your eyes on your vision, and don’t listen to the ones that can’t see it.
18. Possessions can be as minimal as three luggage bags and take you as far as ten years into the future.
I thought living in a place like Hawai’i was something out of reach for a decade at the minimum. It just took a change in perspective.
19. If it’s not something someone else is brave enough to do, they will try to talk you out of it.
So many people told me not to venture off alone. “Don’t move there, they don’t want you there,” “It’s too expensive,” “You’ll struggle,” “You won’t make it,” “You’ll be back in the Midwest in a few months.” Maybe this all applies to them, but not to me.
20. The cost of living is subjective. No one person lives the same life as another, therefore experience trumps statistics once again.
I am not wealthy. I do not own a home. I don’t have a college degree, and at the time I write this, I work two jobs amounting to sixty-five to seventy-five hours weekly on average. But I make enough to get by and put toward the pursuit of creating. Things would be different if I had children to raise, but I do not. I am surviving and thriving in my twenties.
21. You don’t know how you will react to a situation until you are in it, be prepared for emotional cocktails.
This is something that I knew well before the year 2023, but it became a concrete awareness in every day life when I took the plunge. Some of the things you learn about yourself in a journey like this are not all good things, and it can be difficult to manage the mental and emotional weight they carry. Be aware, be accepting, and be willing to move past it.
22. You will never know what you’re capable of until you take a dive into the unknown. Get uncomfortable and do it as soon as possible. The younger you are, the better.
Most people spend their twenties grinding for a better future and getting married and having children, none of which is wrong. However, imagine how well set up a person can be after spending their twenties filling their life with memories like travel. All the real-world knowledge you can accumulate in the matter of a decade will shape your mentality and perspective on the world in a way many people never get the chance to have, because they wait for “someday” and someday may never come. Even if you’re in your fifties or sixties, it’s not too late to get out there and get those experiences in.
23. How people treat you will change once you accept what you really want and execute it daily.
It’s true; some for better, some for worse. It has nothing to do with you. Ignore it and carry on.
24. Adapting to change quickly is imperative for consistent movement and upward climbing.
I believe most people understand the concept that in order to level up, you must get comfortable with being uncomfortable (i.e. being comfortable with constant change). When Benjamin Franklin said, “but, in this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes,” he should have added “change” to the mix as well.
25. Most people are wrong about the world around them, simply because they have no meaningful and authentic experience or education invested into it.
An observation I’ve made is that the quickest people to comment on another country’s current affairs, government and political issues, food, culture, dress attire, and history are the most ignorant. It’s always the people that have never even left their own country that have the worst fixed mindsets of all: that the world is what it is because that’s what the media and their parents told them it was. Be very careful around these people, these ones usually tend to be energy vampires as well.
So, there we have it. These were the twenty-five lessons I learned in this incredible journey over the last twelve months. These are realizations I will carry with me until the end of this lifetime and I’m so grateful to have created an opportunity to share them with the world. It’s a beautiful day to be alive and I can feel 2024 is on the cusp of greatness. Thank you for reading, please share any feedback in the contact card and make sure to subscribe to stay alerted on new article postings!
